Unexpected pregnancies and rediscovering identity through motherhood

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In 2022, I was finally stepping into a dream that I had raised to build something for many years. After quietly supporting the ambitions of others and lifting my first two children backwards, I was ready to place the long shield vision of personal and professional completion. As I started to lay the foundations, life took an unexpected turning point: I found out that I was pregnant again.

At that time, I was already managing two children under the age of three. The third pregnancy news did not bring the excitement that could happen in different situations. Instead, it mobilized a wave of anxiety, exhaustion and crime. It is difficult to admit in this society where the maternity is celebrated as the ultimate happiness, but the fact is that what is often seen as a blessing sends me in the emotional struggle season I did not expect and did not feel clear, ready for it. I could not get out of bed, was permanently irritated, and was eaten with deep regret and shame.

Pregnancy, postpartum and early maternity are already in the emotional and physically demanding seasons. By repeatedly experiencing them, I feel like I was losing the basic basic. As mothers, especially in Pakistan, we are expected to manage our homes and emotions, often without space to recognize our internal battles. I knew I was burning, and even though I always believed in the power of therapy, it took me almost a month to admit that I needed help.

Those initial therapy sessions were difficult but important. We spilled the layers of crime, fear and frustration. But there was a question that my physician asked me deeply: “How will your dreams and goals appear with another child in the picture?”

This question remained with me, it was long lasting after the session ended. He slowly turned into the way I saw my life. Instead of looking at her third child as a circle on my way, I began to imagine how she could be part of the journey itself. Over time, as I reflected and re -imagined it, heavy pinning began to lift. I started adjusting my plans.

At that time, I was fortunate to have access to my spouse, my family, and online mental health resources, which helped me maintain a positive mentality. But my heart is often attracted to mothers who were not so lucky. I wondered how many women quietly lose their families, smiling outside, entering inside, often turning to other women.

Among this chapter in my life, the idea of ​​the NAHL program was born, it was named after my daughter who had arrived during that period. “Nahal,” which means “honey bee” in Arabic, felt like a perfect metaphor. Honey bees are powerful. They work tirelessly and quietly, build and nurture the entire ecosystem like mothers. Like women.

For women aged 15 years and above, this 10 weeks, play -based program was designed to remind them of their internal strength and to help them find meaning in their living experiences, especially those who feel like a shock. It needs to be remembered by my own need of who I was above my responsibilities. I wanted to present a place where other women could do so.

Maternity, I have learned, is about to raise yourself through all transitions, happiness and heart break. It is about accepting that sometimes the picture does not appear as you have planned and that’s fine.

This Mother’s Day, I want to respect more than the joy of maternity. I want to respect the calm flexibility of its demand. I want to celebrate the women who are still becoming a raising of others. I want to recognize every mother for a moment that has ever had to stop her dreams, question her value, or rebuild her identity from the beginning. You are not alone. You are seen And you are much stronger than thinking.

Ramsha Nasr is the founder of Bayan PK, who is dedicated to a society -driven move to make mental health tools and resources. An associate clinical psychologist and play therapist, he specializes in creating an extended, precautionary mental health program aimed at increasing access to Pakistan.